


Are You Okay?

by hustlehobi (brainstorming)



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-19 00:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4725512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainstorming/pseuds/hustlehobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's dangerous to keep so much bottled up inside and have no one to share with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You Okay?

**Author's Note:**

> It's nearly 1am this is the longest I can manage without droning on and on and I regret nothing

_❝Lately it seems like_   
_Everybody's sick, everybody's tired._   
_Build myself a wall of unhappy hearts,_   
_And only my heart knows my head is lying,_   
_lying.❞_

"I'm okay," he would say to those who cared enough to ask, to those who asked only to humour him. "it was a stupid crush. I never had a chance with him." The more he said it, the less he believed it-- he had believed he'd had a chance with the old microscope, but it was a false hope proved wrong. Quark had turned him down the second he'd brought up the subject, refusing to say why. At least it had cleared Brainstorm's head-- after the bitter rejection, he'd put all his effort into his work instead of trying to impressing him.

"I'm okay," he would gently remind his coworker, taking the question in stride with easy Brainstorm nonchalance. Perceptor, at least, had doubted his instantaneous reply with a dubiously-raised optic ridge. " _I am_. Are you going to finish that algorithm, or do I have to do it myself? And here people are, thinking you're the genius!" Each time he would refuse to look Perceptor in the eye, each time refusing to directly answer the monotonous query.

"I'm okay," he insisted when his best friend came knocking one night, demanding to know where he'd been for the past few days. Brainstorm had a quip prepared in case Chromedome had pressed on. "Go back to your conjunx- he'll be waiting up for you, as always." and shut him out, locking the habsuite door as an extra measure. The knocking and demands to be let in subsided over the hour, until they eventually stopped altogether with the promise of, "I'm coming back tomorrow." How was he okay? He had failed - he was labelled a menace, a social pariah. How could anyone be okay with the daily glares he received that made him want to throw himself out the airlock? He would never do it, though. He couldn't bear to give them the satisfaction of knowing every little insult got under his plating. He couldn't -he wouldn't- let anyone know, so long as he still functioned. It was a vow he intended to keep. One huge failure was enough for the year.

The day of his first mental examination came around, and never before had he felt so agitated. The little therapist could spot a nervous 'bot with something to hide from a mile away, and locked in a small room with his emotions on full display was the very last thing he wanted to do. Emotions were already threatening to bubble over as he was led to the door, greeted with an open gesture to wave him in -- curiously, no smile. It was a cold atmosphere, and one Brainstorm took no pleasure being in. Turmoil swept his EM field, kept close to his frame by sheer willpower. Stiff-backed he sat on the berth, refusing to lay down though it wasn't offered. Rung raised a thick optic ridge, but otherwise no reaction was noticed by Brainstorm's twitchy amber orbs. The engineer could feel his scrutiny, purposely looking everywhere but the psychiatrist;;- eventually he fixated on a particularly interesting speck of dirt on the ceiling, pointing it out with a feigned amused tone.

"You'll have Ultra Magnus in here pretty soon, Rong- _Rung_ , sorry. Cleaning everything, fixing what doesn't need to be fixed.. He'll change everything around just so he can feel 'comfortable'. Bit of a control freak, isn't he?"

"Brainstorm."

The mech in question startled at the soothing tone, widened optics jumping to Rung's faceplates - which, to his unspoken relief, held the smallest of smiles if he squinted. It was a change in demeanour he hadn't calculated to appear so soon. Emotions he had tried so hard to keep in check since the time-travel escapade came to the surface, pushing at his helm and squeezing the metals so tight he wanted to rip it off and throw it across the room. He could live without a head, right? He didn't need emotions, either. Chromedome could get rid of those, if only he'd have the mercy to do so without Rewind knowing so he couldn't share his disapproval--

"Brainstorm. Are you okay?"

A long pause, then finally came the numb response of habit.

 

"I'm fine."


End file.
